[There is a pause that's long enough to begin wondering if Alfred had hung up before he speaks again, voice obviously, well... less than pleased. A touch more so than before.]
Perhaps I've heard you wrong, because I'm fairly certain you just said that you allowed Wallace to ask the Shade to assist you in signing an illegal lease.
[At least this conversation isn't happening in person so he can't see Alfred glowering at the wall. Small favors, it seems.]
[ There's an equally long pause on Dick's end. He messed up. He messed up so bad. When he does talk, his voice is small, but as sure as he can make it. ]
I'm sorry. I let this get out of hand, and I take full responsibility for everything.
[It would have been easier almost if Richard didn't sound quite so defeated. Alfred was upset, yes, and he did want the teenager to understand that he'd gone about this in entirely the wrong way... but it was probably good that this conversation was being held over the phone where Alfred couldn't actually feel the emotions he's certain Richard is currently projecting.
When he speaks again, his tone is carefully controlled:] What exactly do you intend to do about it? Had it, perchance, occurred to you that if you had spoken with us and, perhaps, explained what exactly your plans were and why, Master Bruce or myself might have offered to help.
[What he still doesn't understand is the why behind this seemingly sudden plan to move. There's also some hurt on his part that Richard wouldn't have spoken to him about this. Not that he expected the boy to come to him with everything. They all had their secrets. But this? This stung more than he would care to admit.] As for the responsibility? I believe that's to be shared.
I know how this looks. But it's not that I don't trust you or Bruce. I-I do, but that's why—
[ Because this Bruce never chose him, and Alfred knows an older, smarter, more together him, and if he thinks about it too hard he feels powerless, all wrong in his own skin, and he can't stand it. He's tired of being the wrong version of himself for people, and all he can do is the only thing he's ever done: throw himself right into becoming someone better.
So this? It might have been badly planned, it might have been one of the worst ideas he's ever had, but he needs to prove his own worth (to them? to himself?) — that he's not a burden, that he can be just as good as whoever they expect him to be. ]
I know I did it all wrong. But I thought if I could do it myself, then maybe it would prove I'm— not a kid? That you two don't need to worry about me. That I can handle this.
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performance) wrote2014-04-10 06:52 pm
voice
Perhaps I've heard you wrong, because I'm fairly certain you just said that you allowed Wallace to ask the Shade to assist you in signing an illegal lease.
[At least this conversation isn't happening in person so he can't see Alfred glowering at the wall. Small favors, it seems.]
voice
I'm sorry. I let this get out of hand, and I take full responsibility for everything.
voice
When he speaks again, his tone is carefully controlled:] What exactly do you intend to do about it? Had it, perchance, occurred to you that if you had spoken with us and, perhaps, explained what exactly your plans were and why, Master Bruce or myself might have offered to help.
[What he still doesn't understand is the why behind this seemingly sudden plan to move. There's also some hurt on his part that Richard wouldn't have spoken to him about this. Not that he expected the boy to come to him with everything. They all had their secrets. But this? This stung more than he would care to admit.] As for the responsibility? I believe that's to be shared.
voice
[ Because this Bruce never chose him, and Alfred knows an older, smarter, more together him, and if he thinks about it too hard he feels powerless, all wrong in his own skin, and he can't stand it. He's tired of being the wrong version of himself for people, and all he can do is the only thing he's ever done: throw himself right into becoming someone better.
So this? It might have been badly planned, it might have been one of the worst ideas he's ever had, but he needs to prove his own worth (to them? to himself?) — that he's not a burden, that he can be just as good as whoever they expect him to be. ]
I know I did it all wrong. But I thought if I could do it myself, then maybe it would prove I'm— not a kid? That you two don't need to worry about me. That I can handle this.
voice
Perhaps this is a conversation best continued elsewhere. I'll drop by shortly.
((Continued here))