IC CONTACT - MASK OR MENACE

[performance]

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[performance]

[ ahem. ]

Sexy vampire seduction.

[sidecars]

[ It takes him a second, but the delayed reaction is worth it. He just looks on at Dick in horror and disgust, seizing like he's been overcome with a fit. ]

Eww, what? What vampires have you seen that are sexy? Why would you even—What?!

[performance]

What? You're kidding! That wasn't a thing back then? I mean, I know the whole "sexy brooding vampire boyfriend" craze didn't really take off until like, the 90s, but Dracula was supposed to be seductive! Kind of!

[sidecars]

Well. Alright, I see your point. They can be pretty, but once they show their true colors... Their faces are...

[ Bucky sticks out his tongue. ]

Who wants to date a vampire?! They're monsters!

[performance]

I think that's part of the fantasy.

[sidecars]

[ His nose crinkles up further. ]

I don't get it.

[performance]

You know! Danger! Passion!

[ Dick wiggles his fingers, leaning in closer and putting on what he imagines to be a very seductive voice. Surprisingly it isn't Count von Count. ]

I'm ancient and powerful and I could drink your blood and have my way with you if I wanted to, but I won't, because I love you and ooonly you.

[sidecars]

[ Instinctively, Bucky leans back a little when Dick comes closer, but he's grinning. His feet slip out from under him and he sits back on his rear with an embarrassed but amused laugh. ]

Oh my God! Well, I think the vampire should still have his way.

[ He waggles his eyebrows a little at the bodice-ripper suggestion. Isn't that what the damsel would want anyway? ]

[performance]

Is that an invitation? Not that I need one...

[ Oh, yes, Dickie's invading his personal space. ]

[sidecars]

What—? Ohh no. Oh nooo! [ He starts crab walking back, but it's clear Bucky isn't trying that hard to avoid him. Just trying harder to get. ]

[performance]

[ And that's when Dick starts doing his best monster movie cackle and leans in to try and chomp on Bucky's neck. ]

Mwahahahahaha!

[sidecars]

Oh my God! Ahhh! [ Bucky can barely contain his own laughter. He's almost tearing up as he scrunches his eyes closed and lets whatever happens happens. He's a perfect damsel in the face of this strange encounter. ]

[performance]

[ Dick kind of can't believe this is happening, or that Bucky's letting him get this far, or that his face is inches away from Bucky's neck now. But let it never be said that he doesn't commit. He snorts, and giggles again, and gets as close as he can before whispering: ]

Chomp.

[ And then he pulls away, sitting back on his haunches and laughing his ass off. ]

[sidecars]

[ Dick may not have actually bit him, but with him that close and breathing against him, it makes him shiver hard and kind of tingle. It's weird and a little sobering when he watches his friend fall over and assume the same position he was just in. ]

[performance]

[ Dick wipes away a tear in the corner of his eye with the side of his hand, looking at Bucky from his side of the couch. His giggles die down after a few seconds, and he catches his breath at last. ]

What? Not feeling seduced?

[ Was that too much? With the chihuahua and everything? It's not like it was serious, they were just goofing around... right? ]

[sidecars]

Oh, no! You uh, performed admirably! [ There's his laugh back. ] I think I get it, definitely.

[performance]

[ Oh, good, he's laughing. That puts Dick at ease again. He runs a hand through his hair, and it immediately falls back into his face. ]

Glad I could help educate you.

[sidecars]

[ Is it bad that he's kinda watching Dick do that? He does it a lot, and all it ever does is move right back where it started. It's kind of silly. ]

On teenage girls and their strange need to be gnawed on by vampires. Yup, very necessary, thank you!

[performance]

It's probably a metaphor for romantic yet dangerous older boyfriends.

[ Dick shrugs. ]

Honestly, I don't entirely get it myself.

[sidecars]

Ohhh I'm a romantic yet dangerous older fella. Maybe I've got a shot at this fad, huh?

[ There are those dimples again. ]

[performance]

Well.

[ Dick nabs another spoonful of that cookie dough and stares long and hard at those dimples. Long. And. Hard. ]

Maybe if you get a cape and start chomping on necks.

[sidecars]

Oh no, do they still wear capes?

[ He's not wearing a cape! ]

[performance]

Actually, I think they mostly dress like rich teenagers these days.

[sidecars]

Oh okay perfect! Except for the rich part. That doesn't help me... What about suspenders? Did suspenders come back into fashion?

[performance]

I don't think vampires wear suspenders, Bucky.