IC CONTACT - MASK OR MENACE

[performance]

( text | call | email | voicemail | action )

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[maglevflash]

[She could die. Just crawl under the bed from embarrassment. Of course caller ID exists. What was she even calling him for? Oh yeah.]

Define better?

[performance]

I think that's up to you.

[maglevflash]

Fair.

[Another pause and a deep breath.]

I owe you an apology.

[performance]

You really don't.

[maglevflash]

No, I do. I shouldn't have snapped on you, especially in public. There was no excuse.

[performance]

You had as much of a right to snap at me as anyone else, Gogo. I'd be angry at me too. I am.

[maglevflash]

What were you supposed to do? So you knew that C-Crane wasn't quite right before the swear in, but what was knowing who he is going to help?

He wasn't working alone at any rate. Still isn't. And you can't persecute someone for something they haven't done yet.

Nobody should expect you to do the impossible, Robin. Least of all me.

[performance]

It's not just that. It wasn't the first time he'd done something like this. I knew. A lot of us knew.

I think we all expected him to try something here eventually. We couldn't have locked him up, but we should've been able to prevent this.

[maglevflash]

Don't do that, okay? A lot of people screwed up, myself included. This isn't on you anymore than it's on the hundreds of victims who were out of control.

[Nevermind that she still blames herself for a lot of it.]

[performance]

[ Robin exhales, short and sharp. ]

I wasn't a victim, Gogo.

[maglevflash]

Were you there?

[performance]

I was.

[maglevflash]

Was any of what happened something you intended or wanted?

[performance]

It doesn't matter what I wanted. What matters is that I failed to act.

I know what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it, but it isn't going to work.

[maglevflash]

Enlighten me, then. [Almost a desperate tone.]

What would you do? If given the chance to do it again, what magical action is there that could have stopped this whole thing?

[performance]

I wouldn't have kept it a secret.

[maglevflash]

And what would that have accomplished? How much difference would that have really made?

He played you. He played all of us. Even when the danger is right in front of our faces.

[performance]

You don't get it. I was never played. I knew, and I said nothing, and I let him think he could get away with this.

That's the problem with us. With all of us. We all think we're the only ones who can take on the world's problems. It's like— i-it's like this ego thing. We keep pushing people away in this stupid desperate struggle to be the best, to pile everything on our shoulders just to prove that we can handle it.

And now people are dead. So what did we actually prove?

[maglevflash]

[God dammit, Rob. You're not making this easy to not be mad at you anymore. But the 'we' is a particular point and she truly doesn't believe that Robin could have done a whole lot. Crane was just in too much. She's quiet for a moment, taking that in, digesting it, and trying to figure out how that makes her feel.

Like shit, but what else is new?]

It proves that you shouldn't have to be alone. You...you woman up. You get back out there, and you find someone you can trust to help you carry it. So that next time...

Next time you have people to rely on when things go south. People who will stand up and help you DO something.

[Because the others that knew clearly weren't any more willing to prevent a tragedy.

It's easier to think of it as some kind of project, though she realizes that's probably not the healthiest way to adjust to trauma. If you fail, if you mess up, you just come at the problem again from a different angle.]

People keep telling me there's no sense beating myself up for things I can't change. I know how hard that is. But we're supposed to try not to.

[performance]

[ Someone you can trust. The words land with a cold, heavy thud in his chest, and he has to swallow hard around the feeling of his throat closing up. He'd thought he had that. ]

And if that someone doesn't trust you?

[ He bites his lip, teeth scraping over a fresh cut. ]

Sorry. You're right. But I'm not beating myself up. Just... don't want to give myself a pass. I have to be better next time.

[maglevflash]

Then...then you give them a reason to trust you. Admittedly I don't know you as well as I'd like, but I get the feeling that you don't trust just anyone. [Nobody keeps as many secrets as he does without having trust issues somewhere.] They're worth the effort.

We've both made mistakes, ones we should have known better than to make. If I can't blame myself for what happened, then you can't put it on you either.

[performance]

[ Robin bristles at the advice. He knows she means well, but hearing all about how trusting people is worth the effort, how he shouldn't shut people out — he could just punch a wall right now. ]

You don't get it. I did trust someone. I made the effort. I opened up. I risked everything. I gave him everything. And it turns out that was just one more stupid mistake.

[maglevflash]

[She sits up a little straighter. She missed something]

Wait, back up a little. What happened?

[performance]

... I learned a lesson.

[maglevflash]

Robin.

[A pause.]

I'm pretty sure we all learned lessons last week, but you're not talking about what happened at the swear in, are you?