performance | IC CONTACT - MASK OR MENACE

send help

with food

make sure help has food

You realize I'm not your butler, right?

... what do you want?

do u know how 2 link videos on this

I meant "what do you want for food," nerd.

oh

everything pls & thank

Whatever, I'm bringing you a sandwich.

i have soda in the frig

dude do u know what vines r
answer: hilarious

i just saw 1 and thought of u

"but dat backflip tho"

that's the punchline do u know it

[ pretty sure he doesn't like Wally being more up to date on things than he is. ]

I have no idea what you're talking about.

oh no dude oh no

come quick i will educate u

but come quick with the sandwich & soda

Well, since it's an emergency.

[ A minute later, there's a knock on Wally's door. ]

It's open!

[The room is dark and Wally is on his bed only in a pair of shorts with a stand-up fan literally right next to his bedframe, on full blast, right on his face. It's hot.

He's got his comm in his hands and is scrolling through YouTube videos, ankles cross. He should probably take a shower soon.

When Robin comes in he lifts a hand in greeting.]

Dude. You really did bring me a sandwich. Let's get married.

[ He adjusts the load in his arms — two plates, two sodas, and the corner of a bag of chips dangling from between his teeth. Everything gets set on Wally's bed, and Dick sits next to him, legs crossed. ]

I bet you say that to everyone who feeds you. It's a triple decker, by the way. I didn't want you starving to death all alone in the Wally cave.

[he says that to only 75% of the people who feed him]

The Wally cave needs better A/C. I'm gonna teleport home and borrow some of yours. [no the batcave is freezing because it is a literal cave, wally

He sits up and grabs for his food, crams a quarter of the sandwich into his mouth to start. Somehow he manages to wrangle his comm and pull up a Vine compilation before passing it over to Robin.]

Here. I present to you enlightenment.

This had better be good, if it's turning you into a cave troll. Open a window sometime.

[ And he hits play. It's evident that he doesn't know what to make of the first few — has Wally really spent the last who knows how many hours on this? ]

[hell no he's not opening a window, are you nuts?]

Okay skip the first couple, they're always kinda sucky in the compilations... [Wally leans over to skip through the video. Apparently that minute and thirteen seconds made a world of difference, because Wally laughs uproariously at the next four minutes of Vines despite them not being of much better quality. There's a few gems but...eh.]

[ Whether they get funnier or not, Wally's laughter is infectious and pretty soon, Dick gets into the rhythm of it. Pretty soon he's laughing just as hard as Wally, and he can't start in on his food without worrying that he'll end up with Coke coming out his nose. ]

Oh, man. Gold. [Wally wipes his eyes, grabs his comm and rolls onto his stomach to browse through the videos some more.] Six seconds to make a joke. That's all you get. I wanna make like fourteen thousand of these. [He wipes the back of his forehead. All the A/C in the world couldn't get rid of this humidity.]

[ Dick doesn't even seem bothered by the humidity. SUPERHUMAN ENDURANCE. ]

Wally, I think we've found our calling.

[robin r u sure that isn't ur superpower]

Seriously dude, we gotta do this. Six seconds. -ooh! I got an idea for the first one. [Wally scrambles off his bed and squeezes past the fan. He almost trips over a horrible-looking stuffed purple monster on his way to his closet.] Why is it so dark in here?

[because the light is off and the curtains are drawn u idiot] Hey, where's my finger skateboard?! [WHY DO YOU HAVE ONE]

[ Dick has a lot of questions about basically everything in this room. ]

Dude, your hoarding is getting out of hand.

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